Vitser om trompetister
(Enkelte måske lidt platte..) (Fundet på internettet).
Men først dette citat fra "Giraffens tårer" af Alexander McCall Smith:
"Og man skal ikke gifte sig med en trompetist", tilføjede Mma Ramotswe. "Den fejltagelse har jeg selv begået.
Jeg har været gift med en dårlig mand ved navn Note Mokoti. Han spillede trompet."
"Jeg er vis på. at de ikke er gode at gifte sig med," sagde Mma Tsbago. "Jeg vil føje trompetister til min liste."
Is there any difference between the sound of a trumpet and that of a cat in heat?
Of course there is, but only if the cat's in good health.
What is the difference between a cornet and an onion?
No one cries when you chop a cornet into little pieces.
What is a gentleman?
Somebody who knows how to play the trumpet, but doesn't.
How many trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one, but he'll do it too loudly.
How do trumpet players traditionally greet each other?
"Hi. Nice to meet you. I'm better than you."
How do you know when a trumpet player is at your door?
The doorbell shrikes!
What do trumpet players use for birth control?
Their personalities.
What did little Johnny's mother tell him when he said "I want to be a trumpet player
when I grow up" ? "But Johnny, you can't do both."
What would a trumpet player do if he won a million dollars?
Continue to play gigs until the money ran out.
How do you improve the aerodynamics of a trumpet player's car?
Take the Domino's Pizza sign off the roof.
What do you call a lead trumpet player with half a brain?
Gifted.
What's the first thing a trumpet player says at work?
"Would you like fries with that?"
How many trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?
Five. One to change the bulb and four to contemplate how Louis Armstrong would have done it.
How do you get a trumpet player to play fff?
Write mp on the part.
What's the difference between a free jazz trumpeter and a terrorist?
The terrorist has sympathizers.
Three famous trumpet players are up in an airplane. One of them says,
"I'll throw out a 100 dollar bill and make someone very happy."
The one next to him says, "I'll throw out two 50 dollar bills, and make two people
very happy."
The other one said, "I'll throw five 20's out the door, and make five people happy."
The pilot, who was their conductor, said,
"Why don't all three jump, and make the whole band very happy?"
How many jazz trumpeters does it take to change a light bulb?
Never mind- they can fake the changes.
How do you get a trumpet player to play softly?
Take away his instrument.
How do you tell a trumpet player's knocking at your door?
The knock speeds up.
4 trumpet players are in a mini van. The mini van goes off a cliff. What's the tragedy in this?
-You can fit 8 trumpet players in a mini van.
How many trumpet players does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Zero. They just complain about the darkness until a trombone player does it for them.
(Ho-Ho-Ho....... )
|